Friday, December 21, 2012

It’s Time To Go Bowling!

From the column responsible for this site, In A Nutshell.


I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this, but I come from a long line of championship bowlers.  I have vivid memories of several glistening gold statuettes with a female bowler represented on their crowns in my grandmother’s bedroom.  Grandma could really punish the pins.  Then there’s her daughter, my mother, who used to take me to the nursery upstairs at Franklin Lanes twice a week while she bowled.  And bowled.  And bowled.  It was worth it though… she had her share of those golden trophies in our house as well.  Sometimes, we would arrive early so I could bowl a game.  She was passing on the family tradition of rolling the rock to me – and I wasn’t using them baby bumpers, baby!  You roll a gutter, you live with that zero.  Tough love.  Mom was the Vince Lombardi of bowling coaches.  So of course I went on to participate in some youth leagues for a few years and actually got myself some of that shiny golden bling.  But then I got hooked up with the wrong crowd and had my hand shoved down the ball return.  Just kidding!  That was the movie Kingpin, as you may well know.  (If you’re wacky enough to follow this column, then you definitely know.)  I really just stopped bowling.  Mom hung up her white shoes and stashed her swirling purple Brunswick ball and I… well I just faded.  Lost interest when the sport got big, you know.  Sigh… I coulda been somebody.


Okay.  Sorry.  I’ve got to come clean.  I got a little sidetracked with my stroll down memory lane when I titled this feature.  Today’s column – and I’m sorry about this Holiday Lanes, but I’ll make it up to you - is actually about the college football bowl season.  That’s right fellow CFA junkarooskies!  Bowl weeks are here!  And not a moment too soon.  College football has been on a little break… just long enough to whet some of our appetites, but it’s back now with the big finale.  Two and a half weeks of college football games that mean little to anyone outside of current students or alumni.  Except for, of course, the bean counters at Little Caesar’s Pizza, Chick-fil-A, Meineke Car Care,  Tostitos, etc, etc…

By the time you read this, our two representatives from Utah will have played in, and won their bowl games.  Utah State with a huge statement making victory over Toledo in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl and BYU with its big win over former rival San Diego State in the Poinsettia Bowl.  The Utes, still making their way along the landscape in the mighty PAC 12, will sit this one out.  So if you’re just a homer and don’t really care about college football, then you are done.  Have fun with your “honey do” lists during your time off… I’ll be in front of the tube.

The beautiful thing about having all these bowls is not just money and prestige for the schools, it’s an excuse to watch a meaningful football game every night.  Except for the holidays and Sundays – still owned by the NFL – there is at least one game a night.  I will not apologize for not being a fan of either Central Michigan or Western Kentucky, but, by Baby New Year, I’m going to be watching and pulling for a double overtime thriller. 

You have to think about the kids playing in games like these.  The seniors.  Young men not highly recruited out of high school and had to “settle” for a smaller program just to play and get an education.  Most will graduate and head off into the real world leaving behind any aspirations of going pro.  So these bowls, as irrelevant as they may seem, are huge for the guys who are trying to go out on top.

Of course after the dozen or so smaller bowls, we will turn our attention to the BCS bowls.  These games feature top programs with exciting players and sub-stories of coaches moving from school to school.  Kansas State vs Oregon in the Fiesta Bowl features two powerhouses with only one loss apiece.  Texas A & M with explosive Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manzeil against Oklahoma in the Cotton Bowl… are you kidding me?!  Those are just two that will surely be unbelievable games to watch, no matter who you’re rooting for.

Then of course the National Championship game to crown the best of all.  The storied Notre Dame Fighting Irish, undefeated and ranked number one in the country facing the mighty Alabama Crimson Tide who will be going for back-to-back titles.  What a matchup.  On paper, the Irish have no chance.  They’ve been underdogs the entire season.  Can they get back to the top of the mountain?  Or will the powerful SEC team win it all again? 

I’m sorry.  I have to go now.  I’m tearing up.  The anticipation has got me all emotional.  I think this year, I’ll get those old bowling trophies out and sit’em on the coffee table next to my chips and dip and cold ones.  We’ll go bowling every night and think of things that could’ve been.


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